Misdiagnosis

July 29, 2010 09:10:09 pm

Yesterday my six year old informed me that she didn't love me. The direct quote is "this is why I don't love you" screamed at me, as she stormed up the stairs to her room, which she was supposed to be cleaning.

And had Not Been Cleaning for an hour.

Her friends were at the door wanting her to play. I said she had things to do before she could play.

So I was totally brave for about 20 minutes before I just sat on the couch and cried. I'm one of those insecure unstable people who is easily convinced that no one loves her.

So to actually hear it is quite painful.

So we (Jay and I) decided that her friends were the problem, some of the new sphere is quite older than her and some of them have very different home lives. So we decided to trim it down to her age group, and those we are weary of are welcome in our home, in our presence.

Because it has to be the peer group. It can't have anything to do with the fact that I've been ignoring the issue of the missing frog and acting like it's business as usual.

Tomorrow I guess I'm going to have to rip that bandaid off and talk about it. I guess I'm just stumped. We never found a dead frog, and yet we have only one frog. We came home from vacation and he was just gone. I guess I assumed she wouldn't notice? Or because she was quiet about it she didn't care?

I'm still sticking to the new plan with peers. But I'm also thinking she might not love me because I don't deal with issues head on and rather hope that they'll just go away. And honestly sometimes I don't love me because of the way I skirt issues.

In the five minutes it took me to write this I was asked 6 questions. Ten times each.

July 10, 2010 08:24:16 am

I developed an eye twitch after my daily gray hair plucking this morning. Surely my vanity will soon win out over my love of my natural hair color and I'll do something about this. It's a hard line to walk, being in love with myself but coming to terms with my own flaws.

My first thought was that something was medically wrong with me but then it occurred to me that after just so long of intent concentration of course something would spasm in my eye, thus creating the twitch.

No wonder my hair is thinning.

Not that the children are excused from blame.

Sir, in order for me to respect your Parental Authority you will need to put down that beer

July 05, 2010 08:24:26 am

Last night at 10:30 the peaceful bonfire I was enjoying with my Jen was disrupted by her rowdy neighbors descending on her lawn. Granted she invited them, but she didn't realize that they had friends with them and between then they had like 8 kids who were all still awake.

At some point I shouted across the acre that perhaps it wasn't time for the slip and slide anymore. Mostly out of selfish reasons, if one of my own children were to stumble over to the bathroom and look out the window and see children playing they might get the mistaken impression that bedtime was over.

I also like to inhibit the fun of children. But I typically don't say that out loud.

As I stood up to approach the water spigot to enforce my statement a man stumbled up to me and insisted that I keep my voice down because there was a baby sleeping.

To which I cackled something about not being the person who thought it was a good idea to bring a baby to a party.

He leaned over his can of beer and lit a cigarette and blew cigarette smoke in my face while, I can only assume, trying to figure out where he went so horribly wrong as a parent.

Judging by his wife's scowl at me and their conversation that they had while they carried their pack n play back to their relatives' yard, I'm betting that wasn't it.

I did a really good job though of keeping my retorts to myself. Because when you're juggling a can of bud light, a lit camel and a pack n play with a baby asleep in it, you are in no real position to suggest that anyone else needs to grow up.

Today's theme-Run on sentences

July 02, 2010 12:52:21 pm

I'm totally stumped on how it is that a child can move and stack furniture in order to get to the top cabinet where I keep glue and glitter and other fun, procure and execute a craft project with her sister, which then requires a touch up to the finish on our table, and yet can't figure out how to get a tub of hummus from the back of the car into the refrigerator.

It's madness in this house.

I am anxiously awaiting my second girls' night out this week and while that kept me smiling and giddy through the first 4 hours of errands, it's not helping me through this last leg of the day.

It kept me afloat when I realized that I chose the wrong town in which to shop. It kept me afloat through Jack's Break Down in the Craft Store, for which he required "yum yums" in order to cure. Yum yums is food. This came in the form of McDonalds. The girls ate ketchup and sprite and picked at a cheeseburger and nuggets and considered eating fries. Jack ate everything else. I would like to thank McDonalds for installing TVs to ensure that it is an absolute waste of money for me to go there.

Oh wait I didn't have to clean up after the Lunch That Was Not Eaten. Maybe it's not a waste.

My favorite part of the trip was stopping in my favorite Starbucks to see my favorite Starbucks manager, who chased my kids around the store for about two minutes before she declared that she was exhausted already and doesn't know how parents do this. She is rapidly becoming one of my children's favorite people, and I do adore her.

But at 12:45 as I was leaving Costco it occurred to me that Jack's last diaper was applied at 8 am.

We both needed a bath when we got home.

Deep breaths. Eclipse. Four hours.

Parental Restraint

July 01, 2010 11:50:46 am

Addy's Team Edward. She snuggled up next to me while I was flipping through photos of Eclipse and I asked her which one was cuter, Jacob or Edward. She pointed to Jacob but the next time she saw Edward and Bella together she said she thought Edward looked better with Bella.

I couldn't agree more.

She then asked if she could watch a little bit of Twilight and I had to gather all of my parental strength and judgment to say no.

My mind flashed between the little kids in their pajamas at the premier Tuesday night and then the gaggle of six year olds discussing Kung Fu Panda (I think this a movie?). I can't let the kids discuss Twilight on that level. It's just not okay to butcher a movie like that.

There is also that whole PG-13 rating thing. But my kids are watching Tom and Jerry while I type this. I'm not even sure where my compass points anymore.